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SnowMan
ยมทูต LooK
ยมทูต LooK


จำนวนข้อความ : 1235
Localisation : Under World
Registration date : 01/02/2007

ตั้งหัวข้อเรื่อง: Ѻ ͧ页   2007-03-06, 1:51 pm

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin.
ѹΌ˹觤 ԺҴ¡ѹ ҨԹ

I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.
ѹԴѺ͹µʹ зͻշ ͹ Club trip ¡ѹ ѹҩѹѡ

Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him.
͹ҨСѺҡ ѹҾѡѺ

And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways.
, ҡ繤ѡѹ ͧѡѹ㹷ҧҧѹ

I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls.
ѹʹ§ ҧ, Ѻռ˭ԧ¤

To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just
Ѻѹ 繼¤ Ѻ ѹҨ§

another girl...
˭ԧ֧ҹ.....

"Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked.
"Թ, ҡ仴˹ѧ" ѹ

"I cant"
""

"Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me.
", ҵͧҹ˹ѧͷҹ?" ѹ֧֡Դѧ㨩ѹ

"No, I am going to meet a friend..."
"͡, ҹѴѺ͹..."

He was always like that.
ҨẺ

He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing.
Ҿ͹˭ԧ˹ҩѹ ͹ѺԴ

To him, I was just a girlfriend.
Ѻǩѹ ͹˭ԧէҹ

The word love only came out from my mouth.
ѡ ͡Ҩҡҡͧѹҹ

Since I knew him, I had never heard him say I love you before.
ѹѡ, ѹԹҾٴѡҡ͹

To us, there werent any anniversaries at all.
թͧѹúͺѺǡ

He didnt say anything from the first day and it continued
¾ٴõѹá ѹẺ鹵

till 100 days... 200days...
100 ѹ .....200ѹ

Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I dont know why...
ءѹ͹Ҩоٴ, Ҩ꡵ҵǹ֧Ѻѹ, ءѹ, µҴ ѹҷ

Then one day...
зѹ˹

Me: Um, Jin, I...
ѹ:, Թ, ....

Jin: What... dont drag, just say..
Թ: ...˹, ٴ..

Me: I love you.
ѹ: ѡ¹

Jin: ....um, just take this doll and go home.
Թ:...., ҵ꡵ҵǹǡѺҹй

That was how he ignored my three words and handed me the doll.
繡÷㨤 3 Ӣͧѹ ǡ觵꡵ѹ

Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
ҡҡ, ͹Ѻҡѧ˹թѹ

The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room,
ͧѹ仴µ꡵ҷѹءѹ

one by one. There were many...
еǷе

Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday.
ѹ˹Ҷ֧, ѹԴͧѹ͹ѹ 15

When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.
͹ѹ蹢ҵ͹ ѹҴѹҨջѺ, ǩѹѧͧͧ͹, Ѿҡ

But... lunch passed, dinner passed... and soon the sky was dark... he still didnt call.
......ǡ...繡.....ҷͧҡմ...ҡѧ

It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore.
ѹҡҴѾա

Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house.
ҡ鹻ҳͧ, ҡҩѹ ǡѹ Һ͡ѹ͡ҷ˹Һҹ

Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
ѹѧ֡ ͡˹Һҹҧդآ

Me: Jin...
ѹ:Թ....

Jin: Here... take this...
Թ:.....ҹ

Again, he handed me a little doll.
ա, ꡵ҡѺѹա

Me: Whats this? ѹ:

Jin: I didnt give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. Im going home now, bye.
Թ: ҹ, µͧ͹, Ѻҹ͹

Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
ѹ: !! ѹѹ?

Jin: Today? Huh?
Թ:ѹ? ?

I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.
֡, ѹŧԴҨѹԴͧѹ

He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.
ѹѺǡԹҡ͹ѺԴ

Then I shouted...
ҡ鹩ѹ⡹

"Wait...!"
!

Jin: You have something to say?
Թ: èоٴ?

Me: Tell me, tell me you love me...
ѹ: ͡, ͡ҹѡ....

Jin: What?!
Թ: ù!

Me: Tell me
ѹ: ͡

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.
ѹ駤͹ͧ͢ѹҧѧ ШѺ

But he just said simple cold words and left.
ٴ ҧ͡ ǡ...

"I dont want to say... that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else."
"ҡٴ....ѡç ҡԹҡѡС Ҥ᷹ҫ"

That was what he said. Then he ran off.
蹤觷Ҿٴ ҡҡ

My legs felt numb... and I collapsed to the ground. He didnt want to say it easily...
Ңͧѹ֡...ǩѹشŧ仺 ҡٴѹ

How could he....?
ҷҧ?

I felt that...
ѹ֡...

Maybe he is not the right guy for me...
ҧҨ褹Ѻѹ...

After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying.
ҡѹ, ѹѧͧ㹺ҹ ͧ ͧ

He didnt call me, although I was waiting.
ҩѹ, ֧ѧ ѹѧ

He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house.
ѧҧ꡵˹Һҹѹء ѹ

After a month, I got myself together and went to school.
ѧҡ͹֧ҡ ѹǺͧ ǡç¹

But what made the pain resurface was that I saw him on a street with another girl
觷纻ǴͧѹѺա駡 ѹҺѺ˭ԧ

He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me as he touched the doll
˹, Ẻѹ繵͹ҨѺ꡵ҷѹ

I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell...
ѹ觵çѺҹͧ꡵ͧ, ǹӵҡ͡

Why did he gave these to me..?
꡵ҩѹ?

Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls..
Ҩҵ꡵ҾǡҨҡ˭ԧҧ

In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.
¤ˢͧѹ ѹҧ꡵Ҿǡͺͧ

Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
㹷ѹշѹ㴹 Ѿѧ ѹ

He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.
ѹ͡ҷö˹Һҹ

I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop.
ѹзŧ Թ͡价ö

I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that its going to end.
ѹ͡Ѻͧ ѹѧ ͧͧҨШŧ

Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
ҡԹҩѹ Ͷ͵꡵ҵ˭

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
Թ:, ѹԴҹ¨øҡ ҹ͡Ҩԧ ?

I couldnt help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around.
ѹö´ ѹԴ ǡ͡蹡Ѻ

Soon, he held out the doll as usual...
ҡ꡵ҡѺѹ͹ҧ

Me: I dont need it.
ѹ: ѹͧѹ

Jin: What? ...why?
Թ:áѹ?..?

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
ѹǺ꡵Ҩҡǡ¹ѹ仺

Me: I dont need this doll, I dont need it anymore!! I dont want to see a person like you again!
ѹ: ѹͧѹ ͧա!! ѹҡͤҧա!

I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
ѹҷءӾٴҡҧ㹢ͧѹ͡ ͹ѹ ҢͧҡѺ

"Im sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice.
"Ң" ҾٴӢɴ¹§

He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll.
ҡԹ͡价趹ǡԺ꡵Ң

Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
ѹ: ԧ! Ժѹ!!! ¹ѹ

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
ʹ ԹԺ꡵Ң

Then...
ҡ.....

Honk~ Honk~
׹~׹~

With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
§ѹѧ Ժͤѹ˭ѧ

"Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted...
"Թ! ź! ź͡!" ѹ⡹...

But he didnt hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
Թ§ѹ ҡŧԺ꡵

"Jin, move!"
"Թ!ź"

HONK~!!
׹~!!

Boom!
!!

That sound, so terrifying.
§ ҧҡҡ

Thats how he went away from me.
蹤ԸշҨҡ仨ҡѹ

Thats how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
ҡ仨ҡѹԴҷоٴ

After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him...
ҡѹ, ѹеͧҹ֡ԴФ٭...

And after spending two months like a crazy person, I took out the dolls.
ѧҡѹ 2 ͹ ͹, ѹԺ꡵Ң

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.
ѹͧ͢ѭҧǷҤѹ

I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days when we were in love...
ѹѹҹ鹷ѹѺ Ѻѹѡѹ

One... Two... Three...
1...2...3
...Four hundred and eighty four. Four hundred and eighty five...
...484...485....
It all ended with 485 dolls.
ǡش꡵ 485

I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
ǩѹͧա Ѻ͵꡵ҵǹ֧ᢹͧѹ

I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...
ѹʹѹҧ, ѹ㴹....

"I love you~, I love you~"
"ѹѡ~ "

I dropped the dolls,shocked.
ѹӵ꡵ ǡ͡...

I...lo..ve...you??
ѹ.....??

I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
ѹԺ꡵Ңǡ硴ŧ价ͧͧѹ

"I love you~ I love you~"
"ѹѡ~ "

It cant be!
!

I pressed all the dolls stomach as it piled on the side.
ŧ价ͧͧ꡵ҷء Ǣҧ ͧѹ仴µ꡵

"I love you~"
"ѹѡ~ "

"I love you~"
"ѹѡ~ "

"I love you~"
"ѹѡ~ "

Those words came out non-stop.
ҹ͡ش

I... love... you...
ѹ...ѡ.......

Why didnt I realize that?.
ѹ͹?

That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
㨢ͧҧ ͧѹ, ͧѹ

Why didnt I realize that he love me this much?
ѹ͹ ѡѹҴ?

I took out the doll under the bed and pressed its stomach,
ѹԺ꡵ա˹§ ǡ ͧͧѹ

that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road.
ѹ繵꡵ҵش Ƿ赡

It had his blood stain on it.
ѧդҺʹԴ

The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much...
§͡§ѹԴ֧ҡ

"Jo... Do you know what today is? Weve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldnt say I love you... Um... since I was too shy... If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you... everyday... till I die...
"...ѹѹ? ѡѹ 486 ѹǹ 486 ? ö͡ѡ.......ѹԹ....ҹҵ꡵ҵǹ, Ҩк͡ ѡ...ءѹ...ѹ

Jo... I love you..."
...ѡ...."

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked God, why do I only know about all this now?
ӵ͡Ҩҡѹ ? ? ѹ, ѹ֧͹

He cant be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute...
öҧ©ѹ ѡѹҷش¢ͧ

For that, and for that reason... to me... it became courage... to live a beautiful life....
Ѻ, Ѻ˵ؼŹ...Ѻѹ...ѹ ....ժԵҧ§

_________________
~Alone in the Darkness~
~I Known you love me~
~มาพร้อมกับภาระและหน้าที่อันยิ่งใหญ่
แต่ความจริงนั้น ไม่มีในตัวฉัน - -"~
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Registration date : 13/02/2007

ตั้งหัวข้อเรื่อง: Re: Ѻ ͧ页   2007-03-06, 2:45 pm





ͺ Mad


ҧ

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ตั้งหัวข้อเรื่อง: Re: Ѻ ͧ页   2007-03-10, 6:11 pm

ѡس!!! ...
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